Copy Kingdom   

Chicago Tribune columnist Eric Zorn outlined a few style guide changes he'd like to institute as the self-proclaimed "Style Czar" of the paper. He was (probably) joking about some--e.g., the Virginia Slims reference--but others are dead-on commentary of today's mediaspeak (see Cliché Corner). From Zorn's March 6 column:

* "The expressions 'don't get me wrong,' 'I, for one,' 'with all due respect,' 'with tongue planted firmly in cheek,' 'pre-owned,' 'under lock and key' and 'shocked and appalled' will never appear outside of direct quotes."

* "We'll describe that which is offered at no charge as being 'free,' never 'for free.' "

* "Writers will no longer tell us what something is 'all about,' as in, '...this is what the marathon is all about,' which I wrote (satirically, of course) last year. Simply 'about' will suffice, with an exception for humorous allusions to the lyrics of 'The Hokey Pokey.' "

* "We will try not to use brand names in reference to sporting venues or events. When possible, the newly rechristened Allstate Arena will be 'the arena in Rosemont,' for example; the United Center will [be] 'the home stadium of the Bulls (Hawks)'; and a Virginia Slims tennis event will be 'the women's tennis tournaments sponsored, ironically enough, by a product virtually guaranteed to harm athletic performance."

* "To fight the forces of quaintness, we will Americanize the spelling of every 'shoppe' and 'theatre,' at the 'centre' or 'pointe' of any 'towne.' "